Blooming To Becoming: A Year Of Joy, Connection, And Coming Home To Self | Ep. 92

Take a deep breath as we step into a new season of Muse and Mastery!

In this season opener, I reflect on joy, community, healing, and a professional pivot toward more aligned work. From nervous system care to entrepreneurship and intentional living, this episode sets a compass for the year ahead rooted in boundaries, sustainability, and love.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review!

What’s your word for the year, and how will you live it?

Resources:

• NYC’s First 5pm Sunset Of 2026 Is In Less Than 10 Days
• The Feelings Wheel + Make Your Romantic Wishlist
• Black Women Turn to One Another as Their Career Paths Suddenly Recede
• Keep an eye out for a future Ecstatic Descendants event!

TikToks/Reels:

• Amanda Seales: Expand your awareness with diligence!
• Dr. Shanté | Life Coach - Systems of privilege weaken the power of the privileged group.
• Alandya - The Nadir
• Ciara - Racists Do Not Deserve Empathy
• Driven - Raising Boys Part 35 | Expose them to the content
• TherapyJeff - Parents of white boys, don’t want your kids radicalized online? Do these 5 things.

Related Episodes:

• Welcome to Muse & Mastery! (fka The Prolific Hub Podcast) | Ep. 91
• Touchable Bodies: A Conversation with the Author of Touch Me, I'm Sick, Margeaux Feldman | Ep. 90
• Success, Stardust & Social Justice ft. Tracey L. Rogers | Ep. 41

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Intentions
• 1:38 Summer Joy And New Friendships
• 3:45 Fall Grounding And Play
• 5:23 Winter Blues And Small Bright Spots
• 7:29 New Podcast Name And Direction
• 8:10 Moving Home And Feeling Settled
• 10:57 Astrology And Coming Home To Self
• 12:42 Communication, Healing, And Vulnerability
• 15:53 Somatic Care And Emotional Literacy
• 17:55 Being Outside And Sacred Remembrance
• 19:55 Ecstatic Descendants: Community And Ceremony
• 23:11 Spa Days, Antiquing, And Estate Sales
• 25:02 Design Curiosity And Open Houses
• 26:20 Consulting Pivot To Program Management
• 29:00 Entrepreneurship Real Talk
• 30:40 Writing, Substack, And The Book
• 32:37 Shadow Work And Disrupting Patterns
• 34:57 Global Tensions And Curated Clips
• 45:53 Word Of The Year Reflection
• 48:34 2026 Word: Healthy
• 51:59 Community Check-In And Closing

Transcript

Aliya Cheyanne: 0:36

Hey friend, welcome back to the show. I'm so excited that you're here. Today's episode will be an audio only experience. There won't be any video, but I'm super excited to have a catch-up episode with you, to have some one-on-one time, and to reconnect. How are you? How have you been? I would love to hear from you in a text to the show or in a voice note to the show or even in a review. I hope you've been doing as well as possible despite all of the things happening in the world, and I'm sure all of the things happening in your personal life. I'm still feeling the effects of that. I'm actually recording this on a snowy day, and I'm just feeling excited to get into a new season. During our last catch-up, I talked about blooming where I'm planted. And that I did, and that I really did. I think our last in-depth catch up was before summer 2025. And I have to say that summer 2025 was one of the best summers I've had in a really, really long time. It reminded me of my early and mid-20s, just going out to fun activities, spending lots of time with friends, going to events, like even simple things like catching a fun movie at a dying-in theater, like just more active than it's been for a really, really long time. And summer 2025 brought in so many new connections, new friendships, new experiences. It affirmed me in a lot of ways, in ways that I've been evolving as a person, in ways that I've grown. It allowed me to reimagine some of the things that I've been wanting for myself, desiring for myself, calling in. It softened me in many ways. I'm a firm believer in having friendships around me that pull out qualities in me that have been dormant or that I haven't been able to access. And because I do believe that other people are mirrors for our good and our bad qualities, it's been really powerful for me to really lean into the friendships that I have in my life right now, that I've gained over the last couple of years and really cultivating and deepening ones that I've had for even longer and just allowing them to make me softer, kinder, sweeter, more fun. Having such an incredible summer really brought out my playfulness, my childlike wonder again. And it was so magical. The fall was a really beautiful time too. It was very cozy, like fun and cute activities with friends, lots of grounding in nature for me. That's really important, especially before it got too cold, just spending some time barefoot in the grass, um, spending some time among the trees, soaking up as much sun as possible. Fall is one of my favorite seasons, as is spring. You know, it's not too hot anymore, it's not too cold yet, it's just right. I love taking a drive upstate for no reason, nowhere to go, or somewhere to go, just to really soak in the foliage and just kind of get lost in my thoughts, listen to music, whatever. So it's just always an enjoyable season for me. Last fall I went to a Renaissance fair for the first time ever in upstate New York. I went with two friends and we got all dressed up. We spent the day there and it was so much fun. I'm excited to go back, hopefully this year, and definitely want to plan the fit and the costume a bit sooner than I did last year. It was very last minute last year, and I want to get a lot more into it this year, and yeah, that was a fun, fun fall activity for me last year. And now here we are in the dead of winter. Don't know where January is escaping to right now. It's going by so fast, and it's cold this time of year. I usually like to escape to someplace warmer, whether that's just Florida, to visit my mom and my sisters, or taking a vacation for my birthday. My birthday is coming up on January 29th, and I usually love to go somewhere warm. There's a lot happening in the world right now, in the Caribbean and South America, and I'm just like, oh lord, I don't know what it's gonna look like this year, but I'm excited to celebrate in whatever capacity that I can. And honestly, despite it being the dead of winter, there have been so many opportunities for me to just connect and spend time with friends that have just made this season a lot more bearable for me, especially as someone who can succumb to winter blues. Um, and usually who tends to like isolate and hibernate during this time. Like I've had so many opportunities to just still stay connected with people in my life and connect with broader communities, like meet new people, be in safe, sacred spaces where the folks who might be attending activities or events are aligned in some capacity. And it's just been really, really wonderful. Just feeling very grateful, lots of gratitude. The days are slowly but surely starting to get longer again. It's not as dark at four o'clock as it was like a month ago. I actually saw according to Secret NYC, um, NYC's first 5 p.m. sunset of 2026 will happen on Wednesday, January 21st. So I'm excited for that because after that, you know, slowly but surely the days will start getting longer again. We'll be in spring, we'll be in summer, and I'm just feeling good and optimistic about that. So yeah, let's jump into some personal updates since the last time we really connected. I know I did a brief introduction to the new podcast name. If you haven't listened to that episode yet already, just go back one episode and check that out. We've changed our name from Treatings Podcast to then the Prolific Hub podcast to now Muse and Mastery, which feels so much more aligned for the creative conversations that I've been having on the show and tools, tips, and tricks for just living and being well. But yeah, let's catch up. The last time we spoke, I was in the process of swapping units, moving in my family home, and that's since been completed. Any renovation work that I was having done has also been completed. I'm feeling really, really settled now. I had some light remodeling work that was happening earlier last year that took a toll in a lot of ways, but that's since been done. I'm very happy with the outcome. I'm fully unpacked, fully moved in, fully settled, and that feels really good. And I am living in a season of gratitude. Um, every day I walk around in my space and I'm just like, wow, I'm so grateful and I'm so blessed. Like, who knew that the sacrifices my grandparents made decades decades ago before they could have even ever thought or conceived that I would exist would be sheltering me now, you know? Like yeah, choices that they made are blessing me and sheltering me and protecting me now. And I'm very grateful for that. My office spaces together again. I am someone who I need a particular space to work in and get work done. So it was very rough not feeling settled, um, having to bounce around various spaces at home and not, like including office spaces, co-working spaces, whatever I needed to just get things done. And now I feel so settled and um I'm inspired coming into my off office space every day and like being able to sit down at my desk and focus and get work done. And um, I'm very grateful that this space is together. I can spread out, I can look out the window, I can focus. Like this is really a space where my creativity thrives, and I am grateful for that. My dog, Stormy Girl, Storm, is no longer confused about what's been going on for the last several months. She's settled and happy too, and that is great. And my granny, who I swapped units with, no longer has to hassle herself with the stairs unless she wants to. Um, she's also very settled in her space, so life's good on that front. Very blessed, very fortunate, very grateful, and very happy. You know what's interesting is that, well, for folks who are not new here, you know that I love astrology. And in 2024, I got my astrological forecast for 2025 by Tracy L. Rogers. Go listen to Success, Stardust, and Social Justice featuring Tracy, if you haven't already. And in that astrological forecast, Tracy did tell me that starting around April, I would experience some moving changes and go through a period of quote unquote coming home to myself. And that timeline was absolutely correct. I knew I would be moving and swapping units at some point last year. I just wasn't sure until about March, April. Like I had no clue exactly when it was going to happen. And then all of a sudden it kind of happened pretty quickly. So, astrology folks, I know some people feel like it's woo-woo and everything else, but it can help to clarify a couple things about our personalities, timelines, impending events. You know, it's an interesting tool. And we have a lot of tools that we use to make sense of the world. And this is probably one of the most harmless ones. But yeah, I've also been experiencing that coming home to myself energy a lot last year. Everything from personal changes to interpersonal relationships with family and friends. So I've been confronting a lot this season, really sitting with myself and the energy I bring to spaces versus who I'd like to be, like how I'd like to show up in the world. I've been working to communicate better because despite having this show, I can be a very direct communicator or when I'm like upset, depending on who and what I'm dealing with, that can come off extremely aggressive or extremely like detached. It depends on the person, the situation, but I really want to have a more level head when it comes to communicating. So that's something I've also been working on. As much as I've done episodes about kissing imposter syndrome, goodbye, and like taking up space and showing up in the world and like all these things. Like I'm a human being. I still am working through and dealing with things, so battling feelings of not being enough, or dealing with old fears, or wounding around abandonment and rejection, and like all of these things, and reminding myself that healing is not linear. We are constantly healing, we will always be healing. No one is ever fully healed. It's just a matter of learning new ways to deal with old triggers and traumas, learning healthier patterns and rewriting the script for old ones and yeah, still working through things like that. And you know what? Also learning to be more vulnerable because it turns out, despite how open I'd like to think I am at this stage of my life and at the time of this recording, I'm actually pretty emotionally unavailable. And I've written about that on my Substack, which is always linked in the episode description. But um, yeah, I'd like to believe that I'm not, but in many ways, I am, and I'm still working on that, on opening myself up more and working through emotional unavailability, not being so closed down and protective and distrusting or mistrusting of like everything and everyone, and being a little bit more open. That's like not my nature by default. I actually really admire the quality of being more emotionally available and open when I see it in other people. They remind me to do that more in myself, but I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm aware of it and I am continuing to work on it and to do my best to grow through it. So there's that. Um, I also know that if I want to deepen existing relationships and cultivate new ones, they can't be at the surface level where my comfort lives. So so so much, so much internally. Um I'm also working through some of this somatically, so not always and not solely relying on talk therapy, but also remembering to move my body because I do recognize that when I've had a good stretch or a good massage or a good workout, like my mood shifts. My nervous system is a little bit more regulated, so I'm not reacting in a way that's tight or concerning. I'm like more chill and more relaxed when I have moved my body. So intentionally, like doing exercises that support me, sure, but also at the very baseline, just stretching and releasing tension in my body a lot more, which is really important. Doing my best to be more in tune with my body as certain emotions arise and come up, and trying to live more in my body and less in my mind when it comes to my feelings. It's so funny. I went to a yoga event recently, and there were some freebies you could grab as an attendee, and one of them was like a postcard with an expanded feelings will. And I grabbed that immediately. I do my best to reference it so that I can really sink into what I'm feeling beyond just sad, mad, happy, like angry, like the basic ones to really dig deeper about what's really going on with me. Um so yeah, at my big age, like using a feelings wheel helps. Shout out to the Can't Afford Therapy podcast for reminding me that the feelings wheel exists and putting me back onto it. And also the Lovers podcast, formerly known as Lovers and Friends, for the work that Shan Boudram, the host, is doing in her lovers community and through her newsletter and social media to really educate people about sex relationships and everything else. She actually did an expanded feelings wheel that included some additional feelings outside of the standard wheel that also speaks to emotions and feelings and all of that good stuff. But um, also just being more aware of my body when I'm feeling certain things, like, is tension rising here? Like, do I feel my ears getting hot because I'm angry? Like, do I want to speak because I feel pressure in the base of my throat? Like, am I getting really passionate because I feel a lot of energy and force in my heart area? Like, does this thing not agree with me? Because now I'm starting to feel pain in my lower back, or like areas where I tend to have tension and discomfort. Like, does that feel irritated or inflamed when something is going on with me? Like little things like that. I'm just trying to be more conscious conscious and aware of. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm working on it. And working through it with coaching and therapy, still taking care of my mind, but still trying to tap into my body a bit more. I'm working through learning to trust myself and my own decision making more and not constantly asking everybody around me what they think. Um, slowly building habits that I want to come naturally to my future self. So routines that make me feel well, movement as a regular practice, eating better and healthier, being softer, more kind, more vulnerable, more open to receive. Like all of these things are things that I'm working on. And just grounding my energy in the earth because I know she can hold me and my emotions and my feelings, and I will never be too much or not enough for her in that capacity. So um, just doing things that make me feel centered. I love looking up and seeing the moon at night. Where I live, there isn't a lot of light pollution. So on a really clear night, I can see the stars, and I love to see that too, and just practicing feeling at peace and calming my nervous system and my parasympathetic nervous system. In some ways, I'm already seeing the fruits of this work in New Connections, just more feelings of joy and gratitude and a brighter outlook on life in general, like more opportunities opening up, you know, creating things I enjoy, like all of that. And in other ways, I'm still seeing areas that require improvement and I'm still working on becoming better every day. So that is yeah, one of many areas I'm focused on in this season, and all of that work is still unfolding. And you know, when we last had our catch-up, I told you, friend, that I wanted to be outside. I wanted to be outside on the sidewalk, not the streets. But that's been happening. I've gotten to attend so many incredible events with friends, and it's been so fun, just like movie nights out at like dine in theaters or having friends over for movie nights at home. Like, I went to a Poetry Slam competition with friends, which was nice because I had I really hadn't done that. Since like my early days of undergrad. It's been a it had been a really long time. So that was nice to like be back in a space and like call back a version of myself that really enjoyed that. I've been doing some work around remembrance and sacred remembrance ceremonies, like through plant medicines, through journaling, through guided meditation. And in many ways, I feel like I really called back my energy a lot, which was really lovely. Um, inner child healing workshops, beach bonfire, like so many activities, like yoga events with other incredible black women, community care sessions, just so much stuff that has really fed my spirit. And what I've really enjoyed is that I've gotten to do a lot of these things with new friends, but I've also gotten to do some of these things with friends that I've had for a really long time. Some since college, some since first grade. Like, you know, it's been really nice to like have friends be together, like experience new things, especially for friends that I've had for a really long time who, you know, sometimes we're not always interested in the same thing, but it's been nice to like experience new things that we're interested in together. So that's been really fun. In fact, at the time of this recording, I will have recently attended an event called Ecstatic Descendants, which was really beautiful. My friend invited me to this event, and I really enjoyed it. It was at the Caribbean Cultural Center, African Diaspora Institute in Harlem. It was led by Charlotte James, who is a plant medicine healer and who's in the house scene in Baltimore, and who really had this vision of curating a house music, like EDM experience for children of the Caribbean diaspora, really having that music and that vibe, but with music that is more relevant to us, to our experience, to our culture. It was also co-led and co-facilitated, co-hosted by Ahime Ora, who is a spiritualist and an author. I have a couple of her books as well. Um, I love Ancestor Said, which is a devotional with a message from spirit that you can use every day to reflect on, to think about, to set an intention around, to journal about. She's also the author of Spirits Come From Water. And also Lindsay Ayala, who is the founder of Yabisi, formerly known as Bread and Butter. She is a seventh-generation botanica owner, big on plant medicine, community care, cleansing, spiritual hygiene, and so much more. It was really a beautiful experience. Ahime led us through a really powerful reflective journaling experience and visualization meditation for our future selves. Lindsay led us through a plant medicine workshop where we learned more about the health and spiritual benefits of basil and dandelion, how we can use it to support ourselves and our diets, but also as a tool for spiritual cleansing, sweeping our auras and protecting ourselves. And at the end, Charlotte and DJ Savine and Okai on the drums led us through a very intentional cathartic release through dance. We got to rock on out and dance and move the way we felt and we wanted to, and the way that Spirit called us to, um, through drums, through ancestral music, through the lens of house music and EDM, which, if you know the history of most musical genres in the United States, particularly house and EDM, everything originates with black people. So in many ways, it was a return to what we've always known, to what's in our DNA. And then we closed out with a beautiful sound bath. The event was catered by Jocelyn, the curly vegan, who had absolutely delicious food. It would be a whole new style to learn to cook, but I don't know. Her food kind of convinced me that I need to do better and eat better. Um, but it was just a really powerful event and attending things that make me feel whole and make me feel good and make me feel happy, and I'm just grateful and living in a spirit of gratitude. I've had spa days with friends and family, which has been really, really nice. Gone to get massages with my bestie a couple of times or trying to make it more regular, like a monthly thing, and it's just so relaxing, and it feels so great, and it feels so good after. Yeah, I mean, there's some things I want to get into. Keep saying it. I haven't done it a lot yet. I have gone antiquing a couple of times in my past, but I want to go more regularly just because I'm like nosy and curious, and there's so many stories behind antiques, like why things end up where they do, whether that be people actually sell them to these antique shops, or maybe people pass away and the antique shops get hold of their items, like through estate sales and other things like that. You know, in some cases, people's things get repossessed from their home and all kinds of things. And sometimes some of those materials end up in antique shops, like marble fireplaces and all kinds of things. So I'm just curious and nosy. It's not always in my budget to buy things per se, but I still like to see and learn. Like sometimes it's interesting to hear the backstory about particular items. So I want to get into that. I do want to start checking out estate sales more. Sometimes you can find really cool art, really cool vintage pieces of clothing or jewelry at estate sales. Sometimes you find scary and spooky things. Like I've seen way too many experiences of like black people who go to estate sales and you know, whoever's estate it was, like, they were racist. They have all kinds of like racist dolls and memorabilia and all kinds of stuff. That's not the kind of experience I want to have, but you won't know until you get there. And I'm also curious and nosy, so I want to start doing that more and open houses. Like, I am not looking to buy a house. That's not uh something I am focused on doing right now in this season of my life, but I am very curious. I love to see how folks decorate. Um, I'm big on interior design, so everything from the staging down to the materials they use uh for the house, from wood to tile to crown molding to trim, like the architecture of a space, everything like that. So I'm very curious and I want to start getting into that more just to browse, just to see, to open my mind up, um, to see what else is possible. And, you know, if and when my time comes, what I might be interested in, what I might really like. So little things that spark my curiosity and fill me up. So yeah, I'm interested in getting into those, but so far, everything I've been diving into has just really, really, really filled me up. And that's been so lovely. On the work and creative front, so from my consulting work, I've started the not so easy process of shifting my consulting work from solely focusing on marketing and communications to more project and program management exclusively. The thing with working with a lot of nonprofits is that they treat communications and marketing the same when they're not. I personally feel like communications is more about storytelling and drawing people in with a story, making them feel connected to the work. Marketing feels more like how can we pull every data point about this person to target them in a very specific way so that they'll buy this very specific thing. And that's like a gross generalization, but to me, that's the difference. Like that's what they feel like. And yeah, I just don't fully want to be in that space anymore, despite how important Calms work is. I want to honor what I'm naturally good at, and what I'm naturally good at is project and program management. So I've started shifting my work to do that more exclusively. I am a systems expert and builder. I create structure and order out of chaos, and I'm really, really good at it. Um, from executing events to launching new programs to outlining campaigns, and that's exactly where I'm focusing my energy. Now the shift hasn't been completely smooth because most of my clients know me for communications work. So sometimes renewing requires like some tweaks, or folks coming to me by like word of mouth for one service are a little surprised when we connect and I share them pivoting from that work. So that being said, it is a shift, it will continue to happen. I'm taking on communications and marketing clients because money at the end of the day, but I'm really in a season of trying to prioritize project and program management opportunities for my consulting work. So wish me luck. Most of my clients to date have been organizations I've actually worked with in the past from previous corporate and nonprofit roles. Others have been word of mouth and they're new. Like folks I've previously worked with have recommended me in other spaces, and I'm so grateful for that. So when they know that maybe a company, an org or an individual is looking for a consultant with my area of expertise, like they put me on, and that's been fantastic. And then in other ways, like some of my clients have been folks I know directly in positions of like leadership and power who can just say what it is and bring me on. No questions asked. We need a combination of all of them. And um, I'm grateful for who I'm working with in this season and opportunities to come down the line. That being said, I'm still going strong for now. Um, this working for yourself stuff ain't for the faint of heart. And sometimes I'm completely over it. Like some days I'm just like, wow, paid leave and company sponsored uh or discounted health insurance. Yeah, I miss that, and it sounds lovely. So who knows how much longer I'll be keeping this up, but for now it's still working out and in my favor, and I'm very grateful for that because it's not always easy to jump out on your own. Random, but not so random. I did see a video of a guy like venting about the person who tried to write his job and get him fired for the views he expressed over C Kirk, but said guy owned his own business. So the person wrote in and wrote to him. And I was like, yeah, having your own shit does come in handy in times like this, but also it's equally stressful. I see people quitting corporate and picking up simpler jobs or manual labor jobs and talking about how much happier they are. I see people grinding and making the switch from simpler jobs to corporate and are happy for the stress because now they have more money. At the same time, over 350,000 black women that we know about are losing jobs, and we're seeing droves go into entrepreneurship. We've been the leading demographic for entrepreneurship for a really long time. At the same time, a lot of black women have been longtime entrepreneurs, they're burnt out from it, a lot of them, and returning to work because they don't want to struggle and chase a bag anymore and want the relief and convenience of a steady paycheck. Permitting said job doesn't terminate them abruptly. It's a vicious cycle. I will say that there's no clear path, and the only right path for you is the one you know to be true. And sometimes it requires experimentation to arrive at your answer. Whatever your choice, feel the fear and do it anyway. On the creative front, I've continued to work on my Substack, which has been really fun. Getting back into writing has just been so nice. My book, I'm still working on it, Surviving Singleness. If you haven't checked out that episode, go back and check it out. And this show. Although I will say this show has been a much slower pace because I've been building in more time for fun and leisure and joy between consulting work and creative work. And I'll keep saying this. I don't even know if I've shared this on the podcast, but I've definitely shared this with like friends and in other spaces that like writing surviving singleness has really opened my heart back up in ways that I didn't expect. And I'm feeling more confident and like vibrant these days. So I'm trusting my own energy and my authenticity, my magnetism, and it's been fun. So yeah, that project, the book is ever evolving as I'm having new experiences. So that's been really beautiful. I mentioned a lot of like personal work that I'm doing, but some of that like extends beyond just like my body. It reflects in my relationships. Like, I've always been a disruptor. I'm disrupting family dynamics and like my own toxic behaviors and patterns, and really taking stock of how much or how little I've grown in certain areas and taking steps every day to become the woman I want to be. I've been confronting my shadow self a lot, the parts of me that I've buried in shame or guilt, and that I haven't wanted to see the light of day, battling feelings of unworthiness at times, but being audacious and devoted anyway. I actually wrote a piece about this on my Substack. So if you haven't already, be sure to check out the feminine urge to create over on Substacked. There's a link in the episode description as well. Despite all that I'm working on, I still have a deep desire to be loved and cared for and touched despite my flaws and imperfections. And we actually go in depth about touch, untouchable bodies, a conversation with Touch Me I'm Sick author and return guest, Margot Feldman, who is the creator of Softcore Trauma and author of Touch Me I'm Sick, a memoir and essays. So if you missed that episode, be sure to check it out. There is so much happening right now from distractions in the US that are drowning out, the ongoing extermination of the people in Palestine, to rising tensions and conflict in the Middle East, to the ongoing onslaught of Congolese people in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and the Republic of the Congo, to the suffering in Sudan, to right here in the US, where the recent lynching of Delta State University student Trey Reed was overshadowed by the assassination of a white supremacist who publicly, proudly and blatantly vocalized that we should bring back public executions. Bombs dropped in Nigeria under the guise of religious persecution. Meanwhile, it was always what it's ever about resources, and ships have been blown up under the guise of transporting drugs, although that's been firmly disproven. And now Venezuela is in a state of chaos. It is unending. We have a resurgence of protests reminiscent of 2020 and George Floyd with protesters clashing and going toe-to-toe with ICE, who a lot of people are comparing to the Gestapo. However, let us never forget that Germany learned a lot from the United States. And if anything, the ICE police are returning to their base level state as slave catchers and slave patrols. There's nothing new under the sun. They're invoking many of the same behaviors that authority figures always have, and that many of our ancestors unfortunately endured throughout history. Y'all, these are just wild and out-of-pocket times, and yet we persist, we create, we adapt, or we become expats. But either way, here we are. I do want to play some videos by creators I enjoy and I think are worth listening to in this season. Everyone from Dr. Shantae to Alondia, who goes by Ebony Archival on TikTok, Amanda Seals, Therapy Jeff, and more. So I'm going to insert a string of these now for you to check out and listen to. And I'll also link to all of them in the episode description in case you want to watch and listen to them again and maybe share with others. I'm sharing these as companions to some of what I've stated throughout the episode and expansions of some of these concepts, but the episode is not over. So make sure you come back on the other side so we can talk about our word of the year. Alright, let's get into it.

@ebonyarchival: 40:21

Black women were practicing it during America's hardest times. The Nate Air. That was the so-called lowest point and race relations after Reconstruction. And even then, black women, they were brilliant. I read this article by Ava Perkis called The Paradox of Pleasure. She poses the question: how do you talk about black joy without minimizing black pain? And that sent me down a rabbit hole of her references and books I've read on my own. I started reading Victoria Wolcott's Race, Riots, and Roller Coasters, which shows how leisure itself became a battleground within black life. And then I went back to a book I referenced so often, Carrie K. Greenwich's The Grim Keys, which talks about how black women shaped political life and society life in America's worst years. And then it hit me. So much of the progression of black life politically and economically was shaped during this time of the Nate Air. So much of what I cover are black women blossoming during the Nate Air. Historian Rayford Logan named 1877 to 1901 the Nate Air, the lowest point. After Reconstruction, federal protections disappeared, and the Great Compromise of 1877 was literally called the Great Betrayal. Civil rights protections dropped, Jim Crow hardened, and violence escalated. And in 1883, the Supreme Court overturned the Civil Rights Act of 1875. And by 1896, Plessy versus Ferguson cemented segregation into law. And this is why I love shows like The Gilded Age, because they're showing Black society in New York, the education, the glamour, what society truly is like. But what most people don't realize is this is happening a few years before the Nedair fully set in. So I think it's really important when you're watching to have the context that these black women, these black people, were facing a lot of backlash alongside the brilliance. And still, during this time, black people responded by founding organizations, really relying on education, founding schools and organizations that would really lay the groundwork and carry us into this new era of Black people fighting back and really putting on. And this is where Ava Perkiss's idea of the paradox of pleasure comes in. Because even under incalculable subjugation, black people were still finding ways to cultivate joy. So think saloons, dance halls, church socials, word games, playing sports. Black people were gonna find something to do, especially for the younger generations. They didn't want their kids to burn out from the strain of racism and the oppression of their race that they were facing. They wanted to ensure that not only themselves as adults, but the kids would want to fight on for generations to come because we had a big fight ahead of us. And again, reading the Victoria Walcott book, which is referenced in Ava Perkiss's scholarship, um, black people were gonna find something to do in amusement parks specifically. Like these sites weren't just joy, they were political. Like they were integrating these spaces. And all of this ties all the way back to the Declaration of Independence, which we forced to apply to us. We did. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These were our unalienable rights. And we knew that these were our divine rights that no one could take away from us. Joy for black people, specifically African-Americans within the United States, was preparation against racism. It was resilience against racism. Brianna, Ahmad, George, affirmative action being struck down by the Supreme Court, 300,000 black women being pushed out of their jobs, DEI rollbacks, and most recently, attacks on the Museum of African-American History and Culture. I don't think it's outlandish to say that this feels like a modern Nade Air. But here's the part I always come back to. In the middle of that first Nade Air, black people, black women, y'all know this account, we flourished. Our brilliance did not dim. The NACW was established in 1896, an early feminist movement, considered the first feminist, really. They recognized their multiple oppressions and fought against them. We have black women writing books, we have black women founding sororities, founding political organizations taking a stand for something in a time that was designed to crush them. The Ne Dere is where we saw the rise of the black American princess, the BAP, stylish, socially refined, and politically inclined, fighting for all those around her. The Ney Dare is never really the end.

@drshantesays: 45:56

Just finished a morning run, um, sweating bullets, but I have to say this while I'm thinking about it. Almost every week I see someone ask the question, why are white men so angry? And while I cannot begin to expound on the many reasons why that might be, what I can say is this I view all social problems through a lens of societal systems, because as a sociologist, that's what I'm trained to do. And here is the design flaw in systems of privilege. When you build systems of hierarchy and privilege, when you build systems of hierarchy and privilege, the privilege is actually what weakens you. The privilege makes you weak because when you socialize an entire group of people to believe that I exist, therefore I deserve, I exist, therefore I am entitled. I exist, therefore, the path of prosperity should be laid out very cleanly ahead of me. And I don't have to work hard and I don't have to struggle and I don't have to dig deep. I just have to receive. Meanwhile, you are socializing all other groups to survive with less resources, with less privilege. And so, as a byproduct of their survival, they are becoming adaptable, resilient, creative, resourceful. They are developing the muscle for survival that they subsequently turn into systems for success and prosperity. Meanwhile, the privileged group is not developing these systems. And when they start to see the disenfranchised group becoming stronger, gaining opportunities, building systems of success, rather than say, hey, maybe we ought to be doing that too, no. Privilege doubles down. Privilege digs deep into the well of anger and grievance and says, You are the reason why I can't be successful. You are taking opportunities away from me and my children and generations. And so now, rather than develop the muscle of resilience, what I'm going to do now is start taking privileges away from you. And now I'm going to start taking your resources, and now I'm going to start burning your house down in hopes that you will get back to where I think you ought to be, which is underneath me. Not realizing that the more you do that, the more privileges you take away, the more systems of success you try to dismantle, you are only making them more creative, more adaptable, more resilient, and more resourceful. So it becomes this auraborus, this snake eating its own tail, because the very system that you designed to uplift yourself is actually the one that is putting you far behind because you never develop the muscle, the work ethic, the resilience, the innovation, and the creativity as the disenfranchised group.

@ciarachomps: 49:13

You need to look at this from an anthropological perspective and look at human beings more as like a species, an animal. It is not just our ability to feel that separates us from AI, but it is our ability to feel for each other. Empathy, the ability to empathize. And I say that empathy specifically is what makes you human because animals have feelings. For example, I've seen countless videos of like people who have multiple pets, and when one passes away, the other pet will experience depression because of the loss of their buddy. Animals can feel. Humans can empathize, literally appears in every single major religion as what we call the golden rule. That is your ability to empathize with other people. If you are unable to empathize, if you are incapable of putting yourself in their shoes and seeing how you would want to be treated if you were them, you are lacking a key component of humanity to you. You do not support the betterment of our species. You are an active detriment to our species. And if we were still in hunter-gatherer times, you would have been weeded out as the weakest link in the community. Humans can only survive in a community. People in a community protect one another, they work together, they pool resources and share. And as seen in every other species on this planet that functions in community and not alone, it is typical that if an individual is not contributing their fair share to the community, and or if they are actively harming the community itself and the well-being of all, they are then isolated from the pack and left to die alone. It was literally necessary for the advancement of our species. Now, at some point of the human population growing, we developed wealth accumulation, right? Accumulating wealth means control because you can afford land, you can afford weaponry or an armada if you wanted. And thus now you are in a position where you are the person dictating what happens in the community. And here's the fatal problem with that: having a lack of empathy makes it easier to acquire wealth because you have no problem persecuting others or lying or cheating or stealing or doing whatever you have to do, including unaliving and enslaving people in your community. Because of this, communities lost the ability to weed out the people who do not have empathy and thus are harmful to the community. Not only did they lose the ability to ostracize these people, they became controlled by these people because they were able to accumulate wealth with their lack of empathy for others. And because now the people that are controlling society and ruling it or the people without empathy, we see the emergence of things like white supremacy and the patriarchy. And because of the patriarchy, women were forced to marry and reproduce with people who otherwise would not have been suitable candidates. And that is literally the reason why now, as a human community globally, we are about to have the world's first trillionaire exist while some people cannot even afford to eat right now. Now, if you are a racist, I'd reckon you didn't stick around this long in the video. But I know that some of you are gonna try to make the argument that I don't feel empathy for racists, so that makes me subhuman, and that is not true, because it is my evolutionary and biological responsibility to humans as a whole. Do not feel empathy towards the people who are harming the overall good of all of us. There is no reasoning or logic on this entire earth that justifies oppressing anybody. You are quite literally trying to compare non-empathy for the detriment of mankind to non-emphy for the betterment of mankind, as if they are the same thing. And I'm not saying that all racists need to die, but I am saying that I am totally okay with you guys going off on your own and starting your own communities outside of the society that I live in because I don't want you in mine. For every racist that leaves this world, the world becomes a little bit better of a place.

@drivenbyjamie: 54:07

75% of young men don't like taking orders from women. I'm sorry, it's just a fact of life. Education is incredibly feminine in its approach and also in its staffing. 75% of teachers before eighth grade are women. Nothing against women teachers. But this is a trism of life. What does trism mean? Trust, risk, and security management. You how is that supposed to make you feel? But it's supposed to make you feel like men should not be taking orders from women. What does he say after that? Teachers before eighth grade are 75% women. And then combine that with young men don't like taking orders from women. What is that message saying? He's saying that boys like us do not like taking orders from teachers. Who benefits if you believe this message? Young men. Because it's saying that if you're a young man, you shouldn't and should not take orders from women because it doesn't make you feel good. Trust, risk, and security management. What do you think he is implying that the problem is? Trusting a woman teacher is risky. According to him, for who? Young men. And how does that make you feel? It makes me feel like he is very incorrect. Makes me angry. If your best friend believed this message, how would it affect him? Probably wouldn't listen to woman teachers. It would just be a big mess. Does it kind of give misogynistic vibes? Yeah. How could this message be improved? Even if you don't like your teacher, you still should respect them because they're trying their hardest to teach you stuff. It doesn't matter if you already know how to do this, it's like a review for you. Listen, don't interrupt or anything. Maybe you learned something you didn't know.

@therapyjeff: 55:51

Parents of white boys don't want your kid radicalized online. Do these five things. One, interrupt the victim story. At some point, your son may say he feels attacked for just being white or male. Don't roll your eyes, but also don't coddle him either. Extremist groups that are just a podcast away groom boys by selling them the lie that they're the real victims of feminism or diversity. That victim story is one of the earliest hooks, turning isolation into blame that's easy to weaponize. The best prevention is early conversation, teaching the difference between discomfort and oppression, and offering healthier narratives about belonging and fairness. Two, teach emotional literacy. If your son can't name or regulate his feelings, he's way more likely to turn rejection into rage. Teach him how to say, I feel lonely, instead of girls are the problem. Feelings don't disappear just because you ignore them, they leak out as blame and turn into resentment and contempt and then far worse. Three, model healthy masculinity. If all he hears is man up and don't cry, he's going to find belonging in toxic online spaces that reward cruelty because if you won't let him be vulnerable, he'll settle for being violent. Show him that strength includes kindness, sensitivity, and respect, or Reddit will happily show him the opposite. Four, teach digital literacy. Stop pretending he's just gaming. He's also in Discord servers, YouTube rabbit holes, and TikTok feeds being told who to hate. Teach him what algorithms are and how propaganda works, or the internet will raise him for you. Five, build belonging that isn't online, please. Isolation is rocket fuel for radicalization. If your kid doesn't feel connected in the real world, he's going to go looking for belonging on Discord, YouTube, and anonymous forums full of rage. And those places will happily hand him an identity built on cruelty. So here's the bottom line: get your sons off Discord. Don't give them weapons. Give them belonging. Sign them up for bands, DD groups, improv classes, woodworking, archery, volunteering, whatever makes him feel connected and creative. Talk to him about the feelings he's feeling before some Manosphere influencer does it for you. Because if you don't shape his world, the algorithm will, and you're not going to like the result.

@amandaseales: 58:53

Good morning. I think it's important to provide some context to what's going on globally while the United States does what it always does, which is be completely self-involved in matters that are actually not important to the rest of the world. I.e. arguing over whether or not to eulogize somebody who aspired for the actual discrimination, death, and denigration of others. I digress. So while this nation has been caught up in that, Israel started a whole other beef with Qatar. Israel is inexplicably tied to the United States. Qatar just gave a whole plane to the president of the United States. Qatar was the country that was carrying out the negotiations between H Group and Israel. And now Israel is bombing Qatar. So this is yet another advancement of their military onslaught in the region. At the same time, this is happening. Remember that boat in Venezuela that Pete Heggs said they had to take out because it was bringing fentanyl to the United States? Nobody on that boat was a drug dealer. Everybody on that boat was a fisherman. And the United States took their lives for political reasons. That means the United States is looking to start wars in both the Western Hemisphere and using our colony in the Eastern Hemisphere. One of our allies, France, just kicked out its fifth prime minister because they don't have no money and they can't figure it out without taxing the rich. Meanwhile, a judge just ruled that 400,000 people will lose their legal status. So they are now criminal immigrants in a country that they've been legal immigrants in for the last how many years? And they are proposing to take the visas of anyone who was not speaking favorably about this man who was just unalived. And a representative of Florida just brought to the floor of Congress that they should be able to revoke the passports of anyone speaking unfavorably about Israel. Passport as in US citizens. So just wanted to catch you all up on that because I know that we've all been caught up on the wrong. Can anything be done to stop any of this? Not that I can think of, but you can be prepared because war is coming. In addition, the expansion of your awareness makes you harder to manipulate.

Aliya Cheyanne: 1:01:43

You know, I asked you at the beginning, but I really want to know how you are, how you've been, how you've been holding up. Now, perhaps you belong to a culture or a lineage or a heritage that follows and celebrates the lunar new year, or perhaps you're like me and you're just chronically online, and your algorithm is in spaces that are continuously talking about the end of the year of the snake and our entry into the year of the horse on February 17th, coinciding with the lunar new year. But regardless of your beliefs, I think for a lot of people, 2025 was definitely a year of shedding. I know for me it was a year of shedding in a lot of ways, shedding of old stories, shedding of old behaviors, shedding of limiting beliefs and outdated mindsets that no longer support the current version of me or the future version of myself that I. Working towards. So I am so curious to hear from you, friend. If you made it this far in the episode, get in touch with me, let me know. Send a text to the show. If you send in a text to the show, I have the opportunity to respond on the show in a future episode. Leave a review. It helps me more than you know. It helps to boost the show more than you know. It helps to connect our show to other like-minded folks who might need to hear it. As always, tell a friend to tell a friend. Please share this episode with your network, with your friends, anyone you think who might be interested. And let's connect. Oh, and I can admit this episode has been a bit all over the place, but thank you for bearing with me and making it this far. I would love to know what your word of the year is. I've been putting some thought into this for myself. Usually my word of the year comes to me a little bit later, maybe in the spring, but I'm feeling pretty confident about mine right now. In 2024, my word of the year was audacity. And in so many ways, I was so audacious. I really went for it with my podcast. I really went for it making the transition from my previous role to jumping into consulting work full-time. I took more risks. And 2024, although there was a lot of upheaval, was a really solid year. And I feel like I truly embodied my word of the year, Audacity. In 2025, my word of the year was devotion. And I've really been thinking about it. I don't think I fully lived up to devotion in every way that I could, but in so many ways, I really did. I was devoted to my creativity. Um it pulled me away from the podcast a little bit, but I was pretty consistent with writing on Substack. I was in the throes of working on my book and still am. I truly became more devoted to connection and friendship in ways that I haven't been in the past. And I became more devoted to myself by being clear on what I want, what I need, what I desire, what I'm working toward, and what I'm hoping for. And I want to continue to embody these words going forward. They're not just words for the year that I abandon and leave behind. My goal is to always integrate these things as I work to become the version of myself I desire to be. And I am grateful for the version of myself that I am now. So audacity and being audacious continues to walk with me. Devotion and being devoted continues to walk with me. And for 2026, I feel strongly about the word healthy. I want to be healthy. I have a big goal that I'm working toward this year, and I'm excited to achieve it. I'm excited to meet myself again around this time next year and have succeeded at my goal. I'm excited to make better and healthier choices for myself, not just physically, but emotionally. I want healthier relationships, healthier friendships, healthier love, healthier physical health, a healthier mindset, healthier finances because we are creating generational wealth over here. I just want everything to be healthy and blessed. So for 2026, my word is going to be healthy. This is going to be the word that I return to as I'm making decisions and choices for myself and my future and the connections around me. So I'm super curious to hear what your word of the year is. What have you been thinking about? What are you calling in? What's been on your mind and your heart? Yeah, what's your word for the year? Let me know in a review or a text to the show or in a voice note. Links to text a show or record or send a voice note are always in the episode description. Just head to the episode and check the description. Alright, friend. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the show. If this episode resonated with you, please be sure to tell a friend, to tell a friend, and to rate and review the show wherever you're listening to it right now. Thank you for lending me your time, your energy, and your ears. I appreciate you for being here. Have a great rest of your day or night, and I'll catch you on the next episode. Here's to a new season of Muse and Mastery. Yay! So excited. Bye.