The Prolific Hub Podcast
The Prolific Hub Podcast is a digital archive of all things life, personal development, spirituality & creative entrepreneurship.
The Prolific Hub Podcast
Ep. 13 | Reviewing the 2023 Shaderoom Calendar + Discussions on Human Rights & Mental Health
Welcome to The Prolific Hub Podcast (formerly known as 3tingz Podcast), where your favorite co-hosts & creators Aliya Cheyanne, Tasia Marie & Mikhaila Rae discuss ‘3tingz’ shaping the culture!
This week the ladies discuss the 2023 Shaderoom Calendar so far, the viral exchange between Jess Hilarious and Blessing Rose, and Mental Health Awareness.
00:00:01 Introduction
00:12:11 Navigating Fame and Responsibility for Athletes
00:21:46 Reflections on Social Issues and Drama
00:33:17 Controversy Surrounding Trans Women and Periods
00:59:07 Unity and Mental Health
01:05:55 Navigating Emotions and Seeking Support
01:17:56 Filling Your Cup
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Hello, hello, hello, welcome back y'all Hi.
Mikhaila Rae:Hi Welcome.
Aliya Cheyanne:All right, I guess we're going to flip the order a little bit. I'm Aliyah Cheyenne.
Tasia Marie:I'm your host, asia Marie, and I'm Micaela.
Aliya Cheyanne:Ray. Micaela Ray is in the building.
Tasia Marie:Welcome back, welcome back.
Aliya Cheyanne:Thank you. So exciting, it's actually right. It's actually treating today.
Tasia Marie:Yeah, yeah, it's lit, lit, lit. All right y'all. So we're back. Episode three, season two All right. Episode three We've got the treatings back together, episode three. Three is a very amazing number, yeah, yeah. So what we getting into today?
Aliya Cheyanne:All right. So for today, we are jumping into the 2023 shade room calendar. Y'all know the calendar. We talked about the previous one, or actually two calendars ago, in our first season of the podcast.
Aliya Cheyanne:So we are bringing that back to jump into what's been going on so far this year, and then we are going to jump into this whole situation with just hilarious women versus trans women, black women versus black trans women and that whole conversation, and yeah. And then we're going to talk about mental health, like we usually do. We are on the heels of mental health month in May, we're on the heels of minority mental health awareness month in July, so we're just going to talk a little bit about that. So, teja, you want to kick us off with the calendar.
Tasia Marie:All right, so you know the 2023 shade room calendar. This year has been quite a bit of a tumultuous year.
Aliya Cheyanne:That has.
Tasia Marie:If you do not remember, let's get started with January. So in January you know the whole Christiane and Blueface debacle she said she was pregnant. Blueface was like that ain't my baby. Blueface's mom is like jokes on her. He had a vasectomy. There you go, he had a vasectomy. Well, fast forward now to August, essentially, and guess who the baby daddy is? Blueface. But yeah, he was really disrespectful. He was like that's not my baby, she's having sex with multiple guys. And of course, while she was pregnant she was still when she said she was pregnant. Initially she was still drinking, smoking, partying, still partying. But yeah, season two of their show on Zeus is coming out pretty soon too. I saw a trailer for that where she was telling her mom that she wanted to abort the baby.
Aliya Cheyanne:Oh gosh.
Tasia Marie:Yeah, so that was January in a nutshell.
Aliya Cheyanne:Then in February, Well, before we get to February.
Tasia Marie:Oh, oh, oh.
Aliya Cheyanne:I guess it was from season one. I don't watch their show. If I see anything about their show, it's like clips on social media, but I saw a clip recently and I'm guessing it was from a while ago, though. I guess they were sitting on a tour bus Blueface and Chrissan None of us know her name.
Aliya Cheyanne:We were saying her name right and he was saying something along the lines of like he's stuck in this situation, Like I'm stuck in this situation with you, and she was like, well, you're not stuck with me. He was like I know I'm not stuck with you, I know I'm not stuck with you, but I'm stuck with this baby by you. And it was just the energy was just nasty. And then he was getting ready to get off the bus and she's like pleading with him to stay and, like you know, give her some sort of attention and care, like a hug, a kiss, something, and she starts breaking down and crying and I was just like this is so toxic. I feel bad for her. I'm just like in this situation.
Aliya Cheyanne:I just I think many women can relate to the experience of just wishing we knew our worth at different points in our lives and like the type of shit that we allow from partners. And I just felt bad for her. And I listened a while back to that episode, that podcast episode she did with B, Simone and Megan for no, For Sure, pod, yeah, and I was just like people have this thing in their head. They think she's like some dumb girl would have missed in two. She's not dumb.
Tasia Marie:She's really not.
Aliya Cheyanne:She's very spiritual, she's smart, and the thing that killed me listening to that episode was like I think she's capable, she has the tools of knowing that she deserves better, she can do better. She's just in that cycle that so many of us go through, where she doesn't like get out of it. And now it's a situation where you have a kid on the way with somebody who ain't shit, who has proven they ain't shit, how you kind of know. You've known for a while that they ain't shit, and here we are.
Mikhaila Rae:I mean, I was just gonna say I feel like it has to do with her environment and the way that she was loved growing up, like she's a product of what she's experienced. So if you were, if, say, your parents were alcoholics and you were abused as a child, and now somebody's loving you in the same way that you know, like I feel like to a degree sometimes it can be you have to like kind of take yourself away from that, but it's kind of difficult to see that you're in a toxic environment if that's all you've been like you all have experienced.
Aliya Cheyanne:It feels familiar to her, that's true?
Tasia Marie:Yeah, definitely. The whole situation is just crazy. But I do, I don't know. I feel like when she actually drops the baby, like it's an album, but when she actually gives birth to the baby, I really feel like she'll. I don't know. I just feel like she's going to be an amazing mom. She's a very loving person, a very caring person. So I don't think she's going to. I don't know. I have faith in Chrissian. Yeah, I do, because she's way smarter than what we're seeing. She is doing what she has to do to get the pesos that she's getting right now. Basically, you put on a front when you're on reality TV. It's really not reality. They're giving you a script based off of your life anyway.
Tasia Marie:So, she's doing what she got to do to get to where she needs to be for the baby right now.
Mikhaila Rae:I will also say, because I saw that Blueface is also, I guess, back with his original baby mother, Stewie, oh, whatever. Also, I don't like the fact that he I mean that's not my business he drags his baby mother, just like he dragged Chrissian, but at the same time the baby mom is not capable of doing or doesn't, in my personal opinion, does not have the talent that Chrissian does.
Mikhaila Rae:Regardless, if you want to believe that she has talent yesterday or no, like she is able to generate money and I don't think that the baby mama this is my personal opinion Fight with your mama, don't fight with me. I don't think that the baby mama will be able to do Like. People will not love her like they love Chrissian. Does that make sense?
Tasia Marie:I don't even know who she is, that's why I said Stewie, she has to be from Family Guy.
Mikhaila Rae:Yeah.
Tasia Marie:And what's the other guy, drew? Is that his name? What's that big guy, the one that Suki was trying to hump his butt on stage?
Aliya Cheyanne:Oh, what's, what is his name?
Tasia Marie:Drew Ski. Is it that Drew Ski, drew Ski, drew Ski? Yeah, I know you lying, I have not seen that, but that's who his baby mother looks like.
Aliya Cheyanne:But no, she wasn't trying to hump his butt, she was trying to chase him around because that song she got when she's like eating his ass. Oh yeah, she was trying to, like she was playfully chasing him, you know whatever.
Mikhaila Rae:Anyway, what Did she catch? Him Like like if it was like I know what Drew Ski looks like.
Aliya Cheyanne:Surprisingly surprisingly not Like he. He did out. He did outrun her, her joke and her dress. I don't think she was going as fast as she could, but you know.
Mikhaila Rae:Okay, let's not body shame. Come on guys.
Tasia Marie:That is hilarious.
Mikhaila Rae:We not body shaming, we just stay in facts.
Aliya Cheyanne:I can't body shame nobody. I need to lose weight, Anyway. Next.
Tasia Marie:All right. Moving on to February, rihanna rocked the Super Bowl while she was pregnant with baby numero dos. And also, if we remember, not if we remember, but then big red ass boots, the mischief boots.
Aliya Cheyanne:Fucking rip.
Tasia Marie:They were only $350. So every common nigga thought they could wear a pair and everybody was walking around here looking like Ronald McDonald.
Mikhaila Rae:Oh, Asher boy, you remember that I say that People will be like yes but no. Yeah, but not for real.
Tasia Marie:But the boots had everybody at a grip, and then everybody was also redoing Rihanna's performance, super Bowl performance, super Bowl performance, or her lack of performance. But we understand why she wasn't moving like that because she had a baby in her.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, but yeah, that was I was going to say like after the fact, like I didn't, I didn't actually watch it. I watched like live, I watched clips, I think, and like the fact that the dancers are all in white and they're supposed to represent sperms, it was like represents sperm was like funny, it was funny, but anyway, I didn't even hear that.
Tasia Marie:That is quite funny, though she was in red.
Mikhaila Rae:Wait, was she in red? Am I like? Yeah, she was in red.
Tasia Marie:She was the woman that's the uterus, and everything.
Tasia Marie:So Rihanna and big red boots in February that was it. March, it's a Kashi six. Nine got jumped in LA Fitness in Miami, posted videos, not videos. They had pictures of him. Actually, they did have a video of him. Those guys have since been arrested. Of course they did it for clout. It was really. There was no rhyme and no reason to bother that little man. And then also in March, john Morant of the Memphis Grizzlies gets the eight game suspension without pay. So he lost $40 million from the NBA for brandishing a firearm while at a club in Denver.
Tasia Marie:All right, this is what I don't understand, because I'm just a regular common folk person going to work, living paycheck to paycheck. If I started making money, right, there's just certain things that I do now that I wouldn't do if I was making that much money, like when these people start getting money. There are just certain things that you can't do. Like you trying to be a gangster, but you're in the MBA, sir. That's like trying to be a thug in college. What are we doing? What are we portraying here? You're a millionaire now. I know you have friends that may still be in that lifestyle, but you don't have to perpetuate that lifestyle. You're self and if you notice how your friends roll like, realize that you are the bag and you need to secure your bag. Keep that bag secured, cause not only did he get caught brandishing a gun once, but twice like within the same year.
Aliya Cheyanne:Is this the same guy? That it's either him or someone else got caught up in a similar situation where they didn't necessarily brandish the gun, but they were in the car with a friend and the friend was brandishing the gun and you know the video was taken and got leaked and they also got penalized. Is this the same guy or is that a different athlete? Same guy?
Tasia Marie:but it was him brandishing the gun. Oh okay, it was his friend, and then they were trying to say that it was a toy gun. I mean not a toy gun, a lighter like an actual lighter, but it's a gun.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, I don't know much about sports. I don't keep up with sports, I really don't care. But what I will say is I've heard other commentary around this and other folks have touched on a couple of points that, like both of y'all have made in this episode. Michaela made this about Krishan. I don't know why I keep wanting to say Krishan, krishan. I don't know what I don't know. And then now you're saying about the situation, but it's like I don't know.
Aliya Cheyanne:It's like it's unfortunately an environment thing, like they say all the time you know you could take the nigga out the hood, but you can't take the hood out the nigga. And it's like people, especially who have come from certain means and all of a sudden start getting money like that can't really grasp or conceptualize, especially when they're young.
Aliya Cheyanne:This is not like some, like 30 something 40, something you know like, especially when you're that young, you can't always grasp or conceptualize all that you have to lose when you start getting money like that and we've seen that with rappers, not just athletes and sometimes people fail to realize that everybody can't go Like. These might be your dogs from childhood, but when you attain a certain level of like, wealth or notoriety, you have to increasingly monitor who you have around you Because even if you know you have a lot to lose and even if your life is changing, it's not the same for your friends and your friends. Your friends quote unquote unknowingly might still put you in a position where they're jeopardizing what you have going on Because they don't, they can't, conceptualize or understand what you got going on now. They don't understand that it's not the same. So I feel like it's you know this is gonna be a huge lesson for him. However he recovers from this situation is gonna be like a huge lesson.
Aliya Cheyanne:But I think people, especially who are catapulted into fame and money, have to really understand like that they might need to move differently and that everybody might not be able to go. Or if you are gonna keep certain people in your life, they have to have a better understanding of, like, what's going on with you and how they might need to pivot and move differently. And if they don't, then you gotta be mindful about how and where you hang out with them and what you do, or just don't hang out with them at all Because they'll put you in a position to lose everything, and that's crazy.
Tasia Marie:That's crazy, yeah, and his friends, honestly, like real friends, would have been like dog. What you doing Like a real OG would not tell you anything. That is going to lead you down a path of what am I trying to say? Negativity. Right, Like a true OG and a true friend is gonna be like dog. You ain't about that life Like, let me do that shit, you have money. Like.
Tasia Marie:I was listening to an interview that Moneybag did. I really like Moneybag, yo random. And he was saying like when he first came out like and was getting a little bit of you know notoriety, he was still hanging out in a trap and he was like one of the OGs pulled him to the side and they was like dog, what are you doing? Like you getting money? Like you gotta move different. Now Lead us to us. You go over there and we need more people like that. That's the problem. But when certain people get money, they just want, yes, men around them, like people who are gonna feed into everything that they wanna do. And if you're just a dumbass and you have a whole bunch of dumbasses around you, you're not gonna realize that.
Mikhaila Rae:I feel like sometimes it also has to do with the fact that a lot of these athletes are rappers or whatever at people in entertainment. They wanna give back Like they don't wanna feel like they've changed up, even though they've established just an amount of money which I mean I get it. But there's other ways, like more productive ways to give back to your community than to like do what it is that you're doing Go visit the trap house.
Mikhaila Rae:Yeah, exactly yeah, so I get it, but I don't think that it's wise. But I also feel like sometimes you have people around you and they'll say, hey, don't do this, don't do that, but like sometimes you gotta buck your toe as especially cause he's not that to me he's not incredibly old. No, not incredibly old, but he's not. He's still learning, he's a baby.
Tasia Marie:I think he's like 23. Something like that.
Aliya Cheyanne:Front alone hasn't even fully formed yet. Yeah, exactly.
Tasia Marie:But, yeah.
Mikhaila Rae:So I feel like maybe he's just like, and he's like y'all don't know like I made this money, like I was able to get myself here, so like I'm making the decisions for me, basically like kind of being stubborn against. I'm not saying that this is necessarily the case, but like maybe he's just like he could be being stubborn against what other people are telling him.
Tasia Marie:Definitely, maybe, definitely, yeah, and his parents are young.
Mikhaila Rae:That's money that's being wasted. Somebody's like, hey, you've messed up Like people around him be like you're messing up everybody's bag by the way that you're acting Like you're losing money like consistently.
Tasia Marie:So that was just in March, that was just in March and then he did it again in May. But moving on to April, In April it was the NCAA finals. So Angel Reese from LSU Baltimore's finest what did she call herself? New Orleans princess or the princess of New Orleans she was criticized for taunting Iowa's Caitlyn Clark during the NCAA final. So basically she waved her hand in front of her face like doing like a you can't see me move as they went on to beat Iowa 102 to 85. So the critics were up in arms. They were like oh, that's not sportsmanship, she's classless, it's very unsportsmanlike, Mainly because she's black, Because Caitlyn did the exact same maneuver. She did the exact same gesture during another game.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah.
Tasia Marie:And no one said anything about that, right? So Angel actually bought that out too. She stood her ground and she called out the media and she was like because she doesn't fit the mold is why people are complaining, because they didn't complain when Caitlyn did it, which is the absolute truth, right? Caitlyn did the exact same thing. It's just crazy and this also brings me to have you guys seen this video that's going around on social media. It's an experiment of being having a disability as a black person and having a disability as a white person. So they have like two guys who are pretending to be blind One is black, one is white. You guys seen them? I seen it on TikTok. Yeah, man, and the way that the black guy shunned every single time and the way that the white guy is so accepted. It's just crazy how, no matter what, like black is always wrong or a negative connotation around it, but it's just sad.
Aliya Cheyanne:Or treated less than whatever. Yeah, I watched that video and I was like I don't even think I made it to the end because I was like, after like the second or third time, I was like, okay, like okay.
Aliya Cheyanne:But yeah, I think too there was also a lot of commentary when that was happening around Angel Reese, too, like people started saying she moved to Kaki Things that they usually attribute to us when we're confident. And it made me think about, like it made me think about this clip that resurfaced a long time ago of, I think, venus and Serena, when they were young, with their dad and they were being interviewed by someone and they were just smiling and confident and the interviewer kept being like well, how are you so sure of yourself? Like how do you know that? Like how do you know? And they're like I just know. And their father and Serena was like stop doing that. Like they're answering you, they're confident. Stop trying to make that.
Tasia Marie:To manage that ship away.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, to be at their confidence, like let them be. And when all of that was happening, it just kept bringing me back to that interview clip and that instance of like, how like. We're often not given the space to just be confident and trust our craft and know what we're capable of, without all kinds of people, but especially the whites, feeling like how dare you be that confident, how dare you be that sure of yourself, like, do you know who and what you are? Hump it yourself.
Aliya Cheyanne:And it's just like no, no, we're gonna take up a space and exist to be confident too.
Tasia Marie:Yup, we have to.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah.
Tasia Marie:Hey. So, moving on to May, jamarrant again caught on IG video him in a passenger seat of a car with his friends flashing a gun, which I was saying earlier he said it wasn't a gun, it was a lighter, but yeah, also in May, chris Brown involved in an altercation with usher during the skate party in Vegas before the lovers and friends festivals. So, allegedly, cb yelled at Spike T, auntie T AKA Tiana, taylor, aka the body, because she has a nice body. But he yelled at Tiana and Usher intervened and their crews got into a scuffle. They were trying to say that Usher allegedly was beat up.
Tasia Marie:However, usher later posted a video, bothered by the alleged altercation, showing no signs of a bruised face, as claimed by some outlets and backstage of the lovers and friends festivals Festivals wow festival CB and his crew got into another scuffle. The narrative made it seem like Chris was in the wrong and he's the one always stirring up shit. But he made a post and spoke out and he was just like he stepped in to try to simmer down what was happening because his child was there and you know, they just took it and spun it whatever way they want to, because CB is an angry black man ever since the whole Rihanna situation.
Aliya Cheyanne:And the several following incidents after that he's been through him throwing chairs out of windows. That too, that too, that too.
Mikhaila Rae:Her ass with Karuchi. I had a very. I mean, maybe this could be inappropriate, but I just had a visual of Chris Brown and Usher fighting but the reason why I thought it was funny is because the first thing I thought of was Michael Jackson, because they both have a love for Michael Jackson and I'm just like imagine if they were in a music video and Chris Brown and he was like exactly. I'm sorry, that was just 80D moments.
Tasia Marie:They'll be hilarious. They'll be hilarious, all right. And then, in June, we spoke about this last episode, but submersible had us on lock and I were in 45 minutes into the dive at Lost Concept with his mother ship. It failed to resurface, imploded. There were no recoveries, no, nothing, just every night in my dreams.
Aliya Cheyanne:Oh my God, I see you.
Mikhaila Rae:I see you, I see you, I see you. Oh my God.
Tasia Marie:But yeah, nothing ever came of that. They're still currently recovering pieces of the Ocean Gate submersible, but this month Ocean Gate finally suspended its exploration and commercial operations after posting that they would still be doing explorations next year. That's wild. And then in July we had the Kiki and Usher incident at his Vegas residency. We spoke about that in episode two Policing women's body. Check that out if you have not. Also, carly Russell Speaking of Carly Russell, she live baby. Did you see her mugshots?
Aliya Cheyanne:Girl. She turned herself in, posted bail and is facing up to a year in prison. I think she lost her job over on charges, Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Mikhaila Rae:I think that that's wild. I think that that's wild. That wait all over what, being in six, it was over. A guy like she don't want to lose her man. That's what I heard.
Aliya Cheyanne:That's what I thought one of the many things I heard. I.
Mikhaila Rae:Just I don't get it.
Mikhaila Rae:I think that's really makes me really upset, not only because of the fact of, like the lack of funds that are like Put into, like finding black women, because my other favorite Podcasts, crime junkies and like granted they, they talk about a, like a whole host of different Like on unsolved cases, like there are very few that come up. And they even say that there are very few that come up that are like black and brown, like a lot of black and brown women go missing or like things happen but like it never gets the coverage or nobody ever talks about it. And so like for you to like have everybody looking for you, have all this money put into you and then you just set a hotel, eat and, jesus, you're hanging in there.
Aliya Cheyanne:I don't think so far. Definitely I think it was going to get this far. It was going to blow up like that. She really didn't and I'm not saying that that justifies it or makes it okay. There does have to be a degree of accountability. I just feel like I personally feel like she did not think it was going to become what it did. She did not think it was going to garner national attention the way it did. Probably and I think the only people who are comfortable saying send her to jail for that are people who have never been to jail or prison.
Tasia Marie:Like, I don't feel like that environment.
Aliya Cheyanne:I don't feel like that environment warrants, like we are such a punishment focused society and I'm personally. I will also say there are a lot of people who are abolitionists. There may be some who are listening to this podcast. I am personally personally not there yet where I am a hundred percent abolitionist, because I do feel like there are some things that you know I don't feel like a restorative justice circle is going to fix that. But I think saying someone like in this particular situation, like feeling like the level of punishment that she deserves is the environment of prison, like me personally, I don't, I don't, I don't agree with that, yeah, definitely not prison, probation, house arrest, therapy, definitely therapy.
Tasia Marie:Definitely, maybe an evaluation along the way as well. But yeah, definitely not jail. That's unnecessary because you're supposed to be rehab. But what exactly are they rehabbing? Nothing, I don't know. I don't think she should be in jail. But that pretty much is a wrap on the first seven months. We are in the last try mess of the year, so we'll see what August holds. Yeah, for Sean should be having her baby soon.
Aliya Cheyanne:And I wonder what's going to fill up the rest of the calendar. I know we in season one we made predictions about the rest of the calendar. I really don't have any child. What else happened? Oh my gosh, the aliens the. Us government announcing that, like, what is the new acronym? It's? It's like we're not even calling them UFOs anymore. We're calling them some other acronym that I don't remember right now.
Tasia Marie:Unidentified. You all right. Unidentified object.
Aliya Cheyanne:I know there's UFO and then there's like some other acronym that we're using now Apparently that I, I don't remember, but even announcing that like people are just so unfazed they're just like, okay, like listen, like listen, like earth, earth is really like ghetto.
Aliya Cheyanne:Not just that, but like we're going through an insane climate crisis right now. Like we're experiencing heat waves that we haven't experienced in like the last hundred, the last thousand years. All of this has been expedited because of capitalism and because of billionaires and corporations. Like people can't afford to pay rent, people can't afford to buy eggs. We do not give a fuck about about y'all announcing that you did actually see a UFO on something and that there was a cover up and that you do have access to a non-human, but like we don't people don't care. Like we are drowning. A lot of people are drowning. Like we don't care, but I also thought that, like I don't know, the jokes that have come out of that have been funny about the aliens. So there's that.
Tasia Marie:I haven't. I haven't really been paying that much attention because it's like what are y'all trying to hide now? Like, what are we covering up now? Now we're bringing up this whole UFOs and aliens again. Shit, like last month it was the well, what was it in Vegas where the cops were called? Like someone called the police and said, like a 10 foot figure like landed in in their backyard, and the cop actually like was like oh, I saw it, I saw it shooting, you know, in your direction. I haven't really been following it and there are other life forms in space, as there are underwater, like I feel like there are different realms, they're living out there. Our realms are just starting to collide now at this point because earth is about to fucking implode and go to shits. I don't know. But yeah, there's that. I don't know if they're even coming here.
Mikhaila Rae:Huh, I said, if I was an alien, I don't even understand why I would even come here.
Tasia Marie:Cause they want to show us what's next.
Aliya Cheyanne:No, I'm just like. Well, like I always say, all these things might be changing, but the earth will always be here. It's humanity that has to figure out how we're going to continue to survive, cause the planet itself ain't going nowhere, Even if it, like, evolves to a point where we can't survive. The planet going to be here regardless. We just have to figure out how to adapt and evolve.
Aliya Cheyanne:That's where we're at right now. So I saw something the other day that said we're at the equivalent of being on hospice care. Like, if you are comparing what stage of the climate crisis we're in, it's the equivalent of being on hospice care and like I'm just like I think about a lot of things in the world sometimes and I'm just like all of this is happening around us and we still got to go to work. So I'm like, listen anyway. So, transitioning into our next topic, something that also made waves recently in this month of July, is this whole situation with Jess hilarious. So I don't know if y'all know anything about, like whatever beef Jess apparently has been having with T S Madison. I didn't know anything about that. I have only been hearing about that recently because of what's been going on. But what I do know is that Jess made a response video to someone else's video. Who is who goes by blessing rose? And blessing roses video was in response to someone else's video. So apparently a trans man had made a video and in that video, the trans man was saying like basically saying something along the lines of like they're really going through it with their hormonal cycle and like they hate having a no, a trans woman Sorry, not a trans man A trans woman was saying that they're going through with their hormonal cycle and they hate having a period. And someone commented on that trans woman's video and was basically like now y'all calling it periods to like, damn, we can't have anything. So the video the video that blessing rose made was in response to that person's comment and blessing rose was saying, as women, y'all don't own periods. Like, basically, trans women, not trans women, oh my God, trans men get periods too. Like, if you want to call it a hormonal cycle, you can. If you want to call it a period, you can. Like, you know that was the thing. So a small clip of that and of course there are a lot of people that don't agree with that or agree with it whatever A small clip of that somehow got just hilarious as attention.
Aliya Cheyanne:I don't know how she saw that, cause I looked up blessing Rose and like they don't have a huge following, like they're not, and apparently the other thing about blessing Rose is that apparently I was listening to Hold for Maintenance and they had a guest on that show who goes by hope. Hope is a trans woman and hope was saying that blessing Rose regularly makes content to try to like stir people up. So I was like, okay, let me go investigate. So I was going through video upon video upon video, like of blessing Rose's page to be like well, trying to find the original video first of all, which I think she took down or I either just didn't go far back enough, but you're still able to find people who screen recorded it and posted it on their accounts, kind of. So I was just trying to see, like get a feel for the personality.
Aliya Cheyanne:Anyway, somehow just hilarious, got the video that blessing Rose made in a response to a comment that a woman made as a response to someone else's video, who experiences a hormonal cycle, a period or whatever, and just went off Like the rage, the vitriol. It was a lot you know like it really was.
Aliya Cheyanne:The rage was a lot. It was like you know who's gonna stand up for us. We own periods, we own that. We bleed, we birth babies.
Tasia Marie:I don't wanna own periods.
Aliya Cheyanne:Y'all wish you could have this, but it was a lot and I think we can dissect a lot of pieces about this. But I also feel like I feel like there are a lot of women, obviously, as we've seen, who feel like Jess, who just needed a small nudge to just like unleash some of those feelings, and I feel like it's multi-layered for Jess, especially as someone who you know. You know what we face like as black women, especially as like dark skinned black women, what we face in the society, like a lot of times, if you are dark skinned, if you have certain features, if your voice sounds a certain way, like people make jokes about you being a man, People make jokes about you being trans and like people have done that to Jess her entire career. So I feel like there's a layer of that that's unfortunately like bleeding into this situation.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, like it's not just that video clip, it's not just that moment, like it's other things too, and in different instances in her career she's tried to like laugh it off and joke it off. Like she's told a story once about how someone hit her up on the low, thinking she really was a trans woman, being like I'm gonna fly you out for a trip and you know let's do whatever. Why she was like well, baby, I'm not a man, I'm not a trans woman, but I'll get the strap. Basically All right If you wanna get paid. Like we can talk about the price and ultimately like it didn't.
Aliya Cheyanne:She's joked about that because of that in her career it ultimately didn't pan out because I guess once the person like really realized that she was serious, she's like, she's a whole woman. She's not like. She's not a trans woman, she's not a man.
Tasia Marie:He was no longer interested they weren't interested anymore.
Aliya Cheyanne:So I feel like there's a layer of that that happens. I do feel like I feel like we're too easily baited sometimes, like we're too easily baited sometimes because that clip I need to get the attention that it did. Maybe, like every other day, women are complaining about our periods. We don't want our periods, we don't give a fuck about them. The minute a trans woman says something about a period.
Aliya Cheyanne:I was like oh, we bleed, we birth the children. Y'all can't have that too. And I feel like it's just because we like. Unfortunately, we live in the society where we're constantly getting pitted against each other instead of recognizing that, especially as black people like I'm not talking to the whole community at this point but as black people like me as a person individually. I'm black before I'm anything else. So I'm not gonna like dog pile on another black person like that just because it's the hot topic thing to do. And I personally was not so like offended by that. I'd say all the time if I could get rid of my period, I would like all day. I don't want it Like, and that's the thing, a lot of what a.
Tasia Marie:What female wants her period? But it's not just Unless you wanna make sure you're not pregnant Like who wants their period.
Aliya Cheyanne:I guess women who want kids Like that's the other thing too. It's like I think it affects.
Tasia Marie:Even if you want kids who?
Mikhaila Rae:wants your period. I was about to say I will give it back. I will return to do something.
Aliya Cheyanne:But I think it's so much bigger than that. I think it's so much bigger than just the period thing too. Like the other thing that came up for me a lot with this whole thing was, like what is going on with women that we feel like there aren't other things that we can tout and talk about, about ourselves, that when we get into these conversations with trans people, we have to talk about the fact that we have periods and we birth children. Like is that all we do? Like I think it hits for a lot of people who are focused on that.
Aliya Cheyanne:But if you're talking about people who are part of the child-free community, if you're talking about people who just don't want kids, if you're talking about people who, if it's a period thing for women, if you're talking about women who don't experience their period or have like a regular period, or who have like all kinds of reproductive issues and fertility issues, like what are you saying then about quote unquote real women? Because there are plenty of cis women that don't experience those things, that are like struggling. They don't feel like women because they can't have a baby and they feel like that's what God put them on the earth to do and as a woman because they're having multiple miscarriages or because they can't get pregnant, they don't feel like a woman. So like even in saying that, even in making those kind of statements, you're still excluding women. So it's like I don't fully get the vitriol, like I just I don't get it.
Tasia Marie:Yeah.
Mikhaila Rae:I was gonna say that, like, I feel like maybe you said it, lee, I'm not 100% sure but there is an anger, but it's just misdirected, because women are our rights are being stripped and if they're not like, basically there is a, I feel like there is a war on women. But to take it out on trans women, necessarily, I don't agree with it.
Tasia Marie:Definitely. It's just easy to shit on what you don't know, essentially Because trans women get a lot. Trans individuals get chat on a lot. However, like trans women the most because you don't hear men saying, oh well, here you're a real man, cause. Well, I'm not gonna say you don't hear men saying that, cause men definitely do say that, but it's more so like women speaking on trans women more than anything. Yeah, I don't know man, I just like live and let people be. If that person feels like they are having their period. Well, yeah, a period is more than just shedding your fucking uterine lining.
Tasia Marie:There definitely is a whole lot of hormonal changes that take place so yeah, that person is probably experiencing that hormonal cyclic change that we go through. So, even though they may not be shedding their uterine lining and menstruating, they're still experiencing, they're getting a tail end of. You know, what we get to experience as women, like a menstrual cycle is literally a cycle when I it drives me crazy every time I teach it it's literally a 20 a day cycle. We are literally on a hormonal roller coaster every fucking day of our lives once we hit puberty. So, as a trans individual who is taking hormones, yes, you are going to experience that. So, yeah, even though it may not be a period like just let people be right If I say that you know I ejaculate instead of orgasm like and you're going to argue me down about it like that's just how I feel. So how that trans woman felt is how she felt. So, if she felt like she was on her period, then damn it, you felt like you're on your period and that's not a good feeling.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, I actually wrote down a whole bunch of thoughts that I basically wanted to, I wanted to share.
Aliya Cheyanne:So, unless there was anything else, I'm going to take a few minutes to do that because I wanted to make sure I hit on all the things that were coming up for me with this. So I said this already like kind of right, like we live in a society where, yes, some cute and some happy things might go viral, but most of the time, the things that go viral are things that are negative. Like when you think about a lot of men who have podcasts, what do they go viral for? They go viral for saying outlandish, while shit about women like negative things. So the fact that this whole situation even went viral, it's because there was an aspect of negativity to it that really opened up a cannon worms for a lot of people. And I think, on the one hand, it's opened up a really important discussion. It's allowed some people to check their biases and what's going on with them and, at the other time, for people who are trans or who have friends who are trans or loved ones who are trans, it's also created a space where they can see who around them might not have been honest about how they really feel about said community and it's allowed them to adjust accordingly. So I think that's one thing. We've already talked about how we would happily give away our periods, but we also understand that most trans women don't want them Okay in the first place. So that's not even a debate. Like one person is not the voice of all people. Just like one person is not the voice for all black people. One trans person is not the voice for all trans people.
Aliya Cheyanne:I've heard something recently also on the Whole For Maintenance podcast with the guest Hope that was saying a lot of y'all don't pay attention to our community period. You only pay attention when negative things go viral. Had you all been following people in our communities, you could have checked in first to take the temperature before you started jumping down people's throat, because people like Hope, people like Angelica Ross, will be the first to tell you most trans women don't feel that way. Okay, like we could have helped y'all out. And the fact that you don't want to engage with our community, unless it's something you want to complain about or be negative about, says more about you than anything else going on.
Aliya Cheyanne:So that was one thing, and the other thing I was gonna bring up too is that I think there's deeper meaning in history to periods too, because you look at some indigenous cultures where periods have essentially been treated as something sacred, like it's a sacred time for women, but largely historically in Western culture, like women have been treated like pariahs for being periods like isolated from communities, called witches and all kinds of shit. For our periods. Like men, to this day, in the 21st century, think periods are gross and disgusting, like some of them don't even wanna go to get pads and tampons for their partner. So defending it with your livelihood, like as a woman, like I think we have to be a little bit mindful of how of like what it means in a historical context, like what it means culturally, and not just use it as like a point that we leverage to like uphold ideologies that essentially uphold patriarchy. Like patriarchy, think periods are like gross. Like they only value it for women when we can birth children. That's all they care about.
Aliya Cheyanne:So the fact that we also tout that as something that like is the only thing that we bring to the table, or our value, like we have to be mindful about that Because, again, there are a lot of women who don't have them. There are a lot of women who can't have kids. So if that's what we're basing and reducing womanhood too, like we need to be mindful of, like the full picture of what womanhood is. And I think, too, there's another layer of this that I've thought about and it kind of caught confirmed when I was listening to another podcast which is that, like, especially for black women in particular, like we already feel, like our dating pool is tough, like we have all these things that tell us we're undesirable, we're the least favorite type of woman that black men want or that men want, period, and I think there are some women who, whether they admit it or not, feel a little bit threatened.
Tasia Marie:About you as a woman.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, because, whether they admit it or not, it's like okay, I'm already having to compete with quote unquote real women that are not black, maybe they're Spanish, latina, maybe they're white, maybe they're exotic, okay but now I also have to potentially compete with trans women, and I feel like there are a lot of women who are not naming that, but I think there are some women who that is very true for, and again, even that ideology or like rationality centers men, because if you know who you are as a woman, if you know your inherent value, you're not gonna feel threatened by another woman, period whether she's a different race, whether she's a trans woman, you're not gonna feel threatened.
Aliya Cheyanne:You're gonna feel confident in who you are and you should feel confident in your partner. If you worried about what the man might do, that might not be the partner.
Tasia Marie:You're probably gonna do it anyways.
Aliya Cheyanne:You're probably gonna do it anyway so that might not be the partner for you. So I feel like there's a layer of that. There's a layer of the fact that, let's be very real, some trans women like embody femininity and looks in a way that some women don't. There are trans women that look better than me. My hair is cut. I'm like you know, I love myself. I can make some improvements, for sure, but I'm not in the best shape of my life. There are some trans women out here that look better than me and a lot of other cis women. So I think there's a layer of that that some women not all some women find triggering and upsetting, and I get it, but again, that has more to do with said woman than the trans woman. That has more to do with centering men and what men like than the trans woman. So I think we need to be mindful of that too. Like there are a lot of layers to this. And the other thing that I'm a pause in case y'all want to jump in on something, because I told you I wrote thoughts down because I didn't want to miss nothing. I wanted to say you got it.
Aliya Cheyanne:Okay, I already touched on this for Jess, but like black women in general, I feel like, have been the butt of people's joke for a long time. But especially, you couple it with darker complexions. You couple it with certain features that are deemed like masculine in this society. You couple that with, like, maybe some women's voices who sound a certain way like unfortunately, we live in a society that will make jokes about black women Black women before any other group, and it doesn't matter if she's trans or if she's cis, like we've seen it with celebrities. You know how many people called Sierra a man. You know how many people call Meg the stallion a man because of their height, because of their like. So black women are not excluded from the society we live in, deeming us as masculine, deeming us as manly. We like we're not excluded just because we're women, and I feel like we need to be conscious of that. Like it's not us ganging up on black trans women. Like we need to be mindful of how we are all ganged up on as people who embody femininity and as people who identify as women.
Aliya Cheyanne:So there's that the other thing I was going to say. And like y'all have both brought this up already. Like our fights are not excluded. This is too. Like our fights are not like mutually exclusive. They're like very much intertwined. So this attack on women, like our bodies and our rights, like this attack on, like Roe v Wade getting overturned, like all of these things like this this attack on womanhood and femininity, is not like it's intrinsically linked to the fight that trans women are having. Like y'all don't understand that when we lose our rights to reproductive care as women, that's intrinsically linked to trans people and gay people who are using their rights to reproductive care, because it's much more expansive in a community that understands being non binary and understands multiple genders than it is in our hero community, where all we understand is the binary. Like, when women lose rights to reproductive care, so do trans people, so do gay people. So those fights are not. They're intrinsically linked, they're not mutually exclusive.
Mikhaila Rae:I was just going to say like I mean this may be kind of deviating, but like it's like when the civil rights, when, when we were fighting for civil rights and like black people and like basically got their rights, it's like all the immigrants that came to this country, like the Chinese people, like many immigrants, ended up getting their rights just because we were able to like fight for our rights. Exactly, stripping away Well, wouldn't be able to happen now, but if you stripped away, like the rights of black people, like you probably be stripping away the rights of immigrants as well, some immigrants possibly.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, it's very similar and like there, I think there are a lot of similarities between all movements are not exactly the same, like we know that, but there are a lot of similarities between movements and I think the quicker that people acknowledge that, the closer, the more powerful we can be together and the closer we can be to achieving certain goals.
Aliya Cheyanne:And the other piece I wanted to touch on to is like this whole culture of like women, especially all I seen all women do in a social media, especially white women but I'm not going to talk about them right now because I already have my issues with white feminism, so I don't care what white women have to say about this but particularly black women, particularly black women who identify as like spiritual, more spiritual than religious because I'm going to save my feelings about Christianity for another day but the way that I've been seeing black women dog pile on this situation and just like the share, like hate and just like disgust I've been, I've been seeing from black women, has been like really disheartening because at the end of the day, like statistically, like black women and trans women are fighting a lot of similar fights, like when we're looking at rates of domestic violence, when we're looking at rates of sexual assault and rape, when we're looking at rates of murder, like the only community that outpaces black women experiencing that kind of violence are black trans women specifically.
Aliya Cheyanne:Like black women are two to three times more likely to be unalived by men in close proximity to us. So, unfortunately, a lot of times that's black men. The only group of women that are beating us at that metric, which is sad, are black trans women and other trans women of color. Like when you're talking about living in a society where we are truly deemed invaluable, like we are truly deemed the bottom of the social hierarchy and the totem pole. The only group of people that are essentially lower on that pole than us are trans people, and I think it's really sad the way that black women have just like dog piled on that community in a way that's just been really disheartening and upsetting and essentially being bullies to a group of people that get bullied enough. Like if we, as black women, are experiencing misogynoir because of our race and our womanhood, what do you think black trans women are experiencing because of their race, because of how they choose to identify, and on top of it, they have the layer of being part of the LGBTQ community. So I just think that we have to be more mindful.
Aliya Cheyanne:Like I know, a lot of times as black women we feel powerless in some situations, but that's not always the case and in situations where we do have power, we need to do. We need to do better and I know we're always held to a higher standard. Like people are always looking to us to save America when it's time to vote. People are always looking to us to like stand up for the like the underdog in every situation, and I know that gets exhausting. But as black people, as black people period, we cannot have this divisiveness within our own community. Like this. It's unacceptable Word, it's unacceptable, and we don't reach freedom like that. Like our fights are intrinsically linked and we only get there by like working together, so getting distracted by negative clips. Like there's a bigger picture and I just want all of us to see that.
Tasia Marie:That's real One hundo. Those were some amazing points, boo.
Aliya Cheyanne:Oh, thanks.
Tasia Marie:I'm gonna let you take this one out.
Aliya Cheyanne:And I think it's very true and I'm just like. I'm like. The other part of me too is like, listen, some of us sit up here, we love shows like pose, we love to see clips of like ballroom culture and like all of these things. We love to like use words that come out of the black gay community, like sis and yes, and like everything else, and it's like we can't sit up here and do that all day and then the minute a switch flips, we completely, when we're no longer entertained, we unleash everything else, like it's not okay and I just want us to like hold ourselves to like a different standard, like.
Aliya Cheyanne:The last point I had was that, like we are such a small percentage of the population as black people period. Like we make up 13% of the population. I saw a Gallup study from like last year that said all like all LGBTQ people not even like individual letters of that make up like 7% of the population. We are such a small group of people in the United States in the grand scheme of things, and I just feel like we have to stick together and do better, like we're literally so small that we cannot afford to like fight with each other. So the last thing I will say and then I'm really done is I saw this tweet that really kind of summarized what I've been seeing happening and why I'm personally not happy about it. So I just want to read it really quick and I can link to this in the show notes, but it's by Olaemi Olorin I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, but that's how it looks to be pronounced to me and it says it's sad how the black community start talking just like white supremacists the minute we discuss the LGBTQ community.
Aliya Cheyanne:Oppressing queer people will not free us, even if it makes you feel powerful. We're not doing ourselves any favors by reinforcing social hierarchies and bigotry, and one response that stood out to me was black folks are literally just as bigoted as everyone else. The only difference is black folks don't have any power on a racial level to oppress others, so they pick on LGBT people because LGBT people are the quote unquote worst of the worst. Think about it. Who else can black people bully? Let me tell you all we got systems to bully. We need to bully white supremacy. We need to bully capitalism. We need to bully black people who are driving the climate crisis. We do as black people. We do not need to be bullying each other in this way.
Tasia Marie:So that's all I'm saying that is real and that is also a great segue into our next topic. So you know, as you know, if you do not know July was Minority Mental Health Awareness Month and May was Mental Health Awareness Month, but mental health is a year round thing, so we are going to always touch base on mental health because, it is of the essence, it is essential to growth, it is essential to life and being so. Yeah, let's speak on it, ladies. Mental health.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, therapy and also, like I said earlier, just like on the heels of Mental Health Month in May and like Minority Mental Health Awareness Month in July. Like we always have to be checking in with ourselves y'all, like when we feel like things are off, finding safe people that we trust to like help us with that, but also being able to recognize what's going on with you yourself. I had a recent therapy session last week and I was just telling my therapist that like I just I feel off and I I've been trying to practice what we've talked about, which is not rushing through my feelings and emotions, but just like kind of sitting with them and trying to understand where they come from and like where I feel it in my body. Like I've just been trying to tap into that awareness and I kept telling her like I cannot distinguish between whether this is like a depressive episode or if I'm just feeling like this because of where I am in my cycle and my period's about to come. Like I don't, I don't understand if it's something different or if it's the same. And she was like, well, why do you have to know what the difference is Like? Why do you have to know if it's a depressive episode, versus like your hormones inducing it? Why can't you just sit in the feeling, acknowledge that this is what you're experiencing this moment and move through it with self-compassion? What is it for you? That's, if you know the difference, what is that gonna answer for you? And I couldn't really answer 100%. I was like, well, if I feel like if it's my period, then I just gotta ride the way, but I feel like if it's a depressive episode, then I might need something else. And I feel like knowing the answer between the two is gonna help me know how to pivot.
Aliya Cheyanne:And she was like well, what tools do you use for either? And I told her, and they were very similar. So she was like, why can't you just, basically, if you know that the tools you use are very similar, regardless of what it is, why can't you call on those things now to support you versus trying to understand what's driving it? And I was just like I'm an analytical person, I have to know what the reason is.
Aliya Cheyanne:And just having that conversation, like the back and forth we had for a while, I just I was proud of myself for tapping into my body and being more aware of what was going on for me. But I also couldn't let go of trying to overanalyze what was going on with me, and I feel like for a lot of people, sometimes we overanalyze ourselves out of our emotions instead of just experiencing them. So I think just being aware of, like what's going on with you and like seeking support and the tools you need to help you are super important, like whether that be like people in your network for me, the person I do that with the most is my therapist Like it's transactional relationship where I feel supported by an unbiased person. That's where I unleash everything, including my tears. That's where I feel comfortable doing it. That's where I feel safe doing it. That's not the case for everyone, but I do think it is a valuable tool for a lot of us.
Tasia Marie:So yeah, I definitely am a, I'm pro-therapy, I'm definitely checking in with yourself and I like what you were saying, or what your therapist was telling you to like sit in the emotion, like don't just try to find the source, like just allow yourself to be in that emotion, emotion and accept it. That's kind of like what well, I haven't been reading it recently, but I started reading the happiness trap. My therapist was telling me about the book the happiness trap and that's basically what it was saying Like, when you're experiencing these emotions, acknowledge it that you're experiencing it and kind of just let it sit there, like don't let it take over.
Tasia Marie:You Don't think into it too much, and I've been. I feel like I've been doing a bit better in trying to acknowledge how I'm feeling. Like if I'm really not feeling it, I'll just be like I'm feeling a bit mad. But also I am on a new journey as well, which you know, and we'll probably speak about that in later episodes. I'm not quite ready to let that go, but I am on this new journey as well and my therapist and I are both trying to figure out, you know, if this new journey is a path that's worth taking.
Tasia Marie:Okay, but yeah, check in with yourselves and also make sure you have, like people who you can talk to, or a person that you can talk to Because, like when I reach out to you that like you felt like you were a safe space.
Tasia Marie:You are a safe space for me. So, making sure that you have those safe spaces and if you don't want to reach out to someone, like knowing what you can do. Because you know, my therapist was asking me well, what do you do when you're feeling this way or what can you do? So like tools that I put into my toolbox For me, like sometimes I just need time to just sit and let and be, like I have days where I just need to sit and be, and then the next day like I'll pick up and be productive. But check in with yourselves, people. I don't know what I'm trying to say right now, but I do know that mental health is essential. You can't be healthy without your mental being in check, so do whatever it is that you need to do to make sure that you are staying on the up and up. Healthy things, though, because there are unhealthy ways to stay on the up and up.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah, I think, and just also recognizing that people are going through their own things and have different things that they're going through in their lives. Sometimes you see people who are like the happiest people and then they do something surprising and it's like, well, how did that happen? Because they weren't that happy? Or even with so many of our young people these days, like being bullied in school for so many you know like, and just the tragic rate that so many of our young people are like practicing self harm or doing other things, like because they just can't take it anymore. So, like those of us that got maybe some people have nieces and nephews, maybe some people have kids, whatever the thing is like checking in with young people too. I know as a teacher, teja, you hold so much with your students and I know there are some teachers who might be listening to this podcast too and it's like, in addition to like teaching students, it's like being another support person in their network for some of these kids too, and they're going through a lot at home too, like that's a lot to carry and hold till, being mindful of being careful with the practices that you have to take care of yourself while you're holding all of that Like your stuff plus your students stuff, you know, like it's just something to be aware of.
Aliya Cheyanne:I do think that we are taking more of a priority around mental health, like as a culture, slowly but surely, like there are things we can say now that we might not have been able to talk about openly 10 years ago or 20 years ago. So for people who are finding community, like where they can to discuss those things, is important. I guess. The other thing I wanted to touch on too is like if you feel like this is for me and for anyone listening, but if you feel like you got something going on that like you might need a diagnosis for, like talk to a professional, like don't go on TikTok and WebMD to diagnose, and I feel like there's privilege and even in saying that too, because there's this whole side of this thing too, where there are a lot of people who don't have health insurance and don't have the resources to talk to a therapist out of pocket every week or you know.
Aliya Cheyanne:So some people in a way to cope with that they may go online to try to understand what's going on with them. That's not just mental health, that's other things in our bodies too. But, if you can, if you feel like something is going on, talk to a professional first, because it's very easy on these social media apps, especially sometimes to see other people talk about things that they're dealing with and being like, well, hey, I do that too, that happens to me too. Do I have this? It's a little easy to get stuck in that. So, yeah, just being a little bit more practical in that regard is important. But yeah.
Aliya Cheyanne:I think the other aspect of this too is like checking in with community when you have capacity to do so. I know I personally don't always have capacity, I really don't but I feel like if you do have a community or you do have people in your life that you can talk to about certain things, like lean on them or those people you wanna talk to about certain things, like check in with them first before, because not everybody can hold everything.
Aliya Cheyanne:That's one thing I was talking to my therapist about recently too is I feel like a lot of times I sometimes I have room for it and sometimes I don't. People in my life love coming to me for stuff and I'm mindful of it and I hold it and I appreciate that. But sometimes I don't, I really don't have capacity. So I really appreciate when people are like kinda check in with me first to see if I have a minute. Yeah, so I think just being mindful of your community and leaning on people, but also giving people grace People are also going through their own stuff.
Mikhaila Rae:Yeah.
Aliya Cheyanne:Clicking first. So, yeah, we are not mental health experts. We are just people who are working through our mental health issues Some therapy, some without. But if there is something going on, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It just might need you. It just might mean that you need additional support and additional systems in your life to support you, because, at the end of the day, we are all just trying to survive this very fucked up world and we're all just doing our best.
Tasia Marie:So Yep, yeah. Once you come to terms with that, you can get the help that you need.
Aliya Cheyanne:Cause that was my problem.
Tasia Marie:I was like I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy, but it's not even about being crazy, like it's really about just checking in and wanting to be a better version of yourself.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah.
Tasia Marie:Yeah, you can't love on people and be the best of people if you can't do it to yourself.
Aliya Cheyanne:So Cannot pour from an empty cup Exactly, and I say that.
Tasia Marie:I say that all the time throughout the school year. I'm like yo I'm always filling cups. Who is pouring into my cup? So as you're filling cups, make sure your cup's being filled as well, and that's in whatever way that you deem worthy for yourself. So if that's putting your phone on DND all day, put your phone shots fired ping, ping.
Tasia Marie:no, I still be answering sometimes but not all the time no, nah, but you really got me into that, though, like that DND is beautiful, cause you know the beauty about DND like you really don't see those notifications. So, like, when I pick up my phone to go on Instagram, I literally just pick up my phone to go on Instagram I'm not looking to see if I have a text, I'm not looking to see news alerts. Like if I'm picking up my phone to go and add some witty line that I just thought of in notes, I just go straight to notes and I don't see those notifications. So that is kind of like a good way to untether yourself, because we do stay tethered to technology a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. But yeah, like, do things that feel, do things that feel your cup. Like, for me, I'm noticing more and more not even noticing like I've always loved bodies of water, but like water and sun, yeah, that's my thing. Like I don't like nature, but I like nature.
Aliya Cheyanne:Same girl. If there were no insects, I'd be really happy with nature. That's it that is it?
Tasia Marie:But for real, like I don't like nature, but I like nature. Like going for a walk, like being outside and, as crazy as it sounds, like walking barefoot you can't do that shit in the city but like being able to walk around barefoot, like whenever we go home to mommy, like what am I always doing, Running my ass outside with bare feet. Like just being able to naturally connect, you know, to earth and its energy.
Aliya Cheyanne:Mm-hmm. But, and to give our burdens to the earth too. That's another thing. For some people, spiritual practice says around we're grounding in nature, like bare feet to the grass, bare feet to the soil, and like actually practicing some sort of visualization or meditative practice where you are like literally letting things go and giving it to the earth, because the earth can hold it.
Tasia Marie:Yes, I'm telling you yeah. But like, figure out. Figure out what your whys are, mm-hmm, and once you figure out what your whys are, figure out what you need to do to fill the cup of that Y to make sure that you're being fulfilled.
Aliya Cheyanne:What do you mean by whys? Help me understand.
Tasia Marie:Y, w-h-y, like, your Y, like. Why are you doing this, okay, or why do you want this?
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah, yeah.
Tasia Marie:Okay, make sure you're always pouring into those W-H-Y cups.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yeah.
Tasia Marie:Yeah.
Aliya Cheyanne:Yep.
Tasia Marie:Yeah, cause, like I said, like my time in the DMV is coming to an end, I thought I'd be a city slicker for the rest of my life, but at this point in my life I need to be near a body of water. I need two seasons a year, preferably fall and summer or spring, and summer, mm-hmm yeah, and I want to be able to like go outside and walk barefoot like on grass.
Aliya Cheyanne:Mm-hmm Makes a world of difference.
Tasia Marie:It really does. You've been really quiet.
Aliya Cheyanne:Do you have anything on mental health?
Mikhaila Rae:I'm probably the most toxic, so that's why I've been kind of keeping myself quiet, I'm not the most toxic. What the hell? Well, to a degree, I have a tendency of like filling up my time and not necessarily deal with what I have to deal with.
Mikhaila Rae:So, as we know, I am always pressed for time, like it's not that like I fill up my time, so I don't have to deal with certain emotions, if that makes any sense. So I don't have a cup to fill at this point, because I do also feel like I have a tendency of pouring into other people, and that is also an issue that I am trying to get better with.
Aliya Cheyanne:I feel like even recognizing that you don't you feel like you don't have a cup to refill is a starting point. Listen, I'm not going to get into this here, but I complain to McKayla all the time that she don't have any time to do anything for herself. So I hope that you will try to start finding time to like do little things for yourself to refill your cup. Whether it's going to get a massage, going to get to know the like something, I hope you'll start prioritizing that.
Tasia Marie:So Treat yourself, don't cheat yourself.
Aliya Cheyanne:To things that fill you up, I would say. The other thing, too, is like I personally know that I am experiencing moments of instability when I'm spending more money Because that's what it is, friend.
Mikhaila Rae:That's what it is.
Aliya Cheyanne:Like that's another thing we got to talk about. Because, first, I will say for me personally, I'm trying very hard and I'm working very hard to be, like, more mindful of my spending and saving Like I'm saving and investing more than I ever have ever, like ever. At the same time, even if I have a really good streak where I'm not doing the most, I'll hit a period where I'm, you can't run it up.
Aliya Cheyanne:Man and it's like Run it up, run it up, run it up. It's usually tied to when I'm not feeling my best. So I know I'm personally working on looking at my purchases as like things that are actually going to support me, like investments and things I want to do, and like making purchasing decisions around that, versus just like frivolous spending what I'm feeling down. That's another thing. I think I know I'm not the only one who's struggling with that, so if that helps me, that's definitely me, that is definitely me, I've freed somebody up, as some of the people like to say.
Aliya Cheyanne:So yeah, recognizing patterns, recognizing patterns and like yeah.
Tasia Marie:Word.
Aliya Cheyanne:How they decrease or increase around different bouts of like mental health struggles.
Tasia Marie:So you wrote it. Yeah, but yeah.
Aliya Cheyanne:And there's that, and there's that. So I think that's it for this episode.
Tasia Marie:Go ahead and put a cap on that Sign off, but thank you all for rocking with us throughout this episode. If you like what you've heard, like, comment, subscribe, follow on Instagram. Ticker talker and your Turb and your Turb, Mm-hmm. Thank y'all. Catch y'all next time.
Aliya Cheyanne:Catch you next time. Bye, and we're so glad we have Micaela Ray for this episode. All right, y'all. Catch you next time. Till next time Bye.
